I'm not sure how you feel, but it seems to me that New Year's Eve was a few months back... as a lot of things happened!
Before we dig into coliving and community news, let me wish you a great 2021 and set the intention to be more in touch - on a personal and professional level, so please respond to my emails and let's interact - being close to you all is key to me in this upcoming year ✨
And now, enjoy the cocktail slurp 😋
This is a new types of series, in which I am going to focus on the core of coliving: human dynamics. All learnings are my own and I hope it inspires you to see how delicate coliving can be!
Last week, at the small coliving space I'm currently staying in Mexico, we hosted a small intention and sharing round.
What came out where a few "coliving truths" that I forgot about and wanted to share again:
👉Living in community is not easy and is challenging; especially, it teaches you how to set boundaries and how to communicate these.
Take the example that you're sitting at a shared table and working. Someone comes to you and starts chatting but you don't want to talk. What do you do?
You should be able to communicate that you don't have time in a way that is not violent and hurting the other, respecting your own need and not feeling weird in a social environment. But this is where many colivers struggle: they don't want to reject the other person out of fear of hurting them, which then creates frustration within and thoughts such as "coliving is not for me".
Learning: we need to learn how to better communicate and feel comfortable in respecting our own needs.
👉Which personalities will have a harder time in coliving environments?
We had a debate whether coliving is better for introverts or extroverts; actually, I believe that it's not the right debate to have. In fact, some coliving operators say that most residents are introverts.
I think that the issue lies in assertive versus turbulent personalities: for those who are still doubtful about themselves, living with others might let them think that they are being judged, although it is just their own insecurities coming up.
Moreover, in psychology, there is the term of the "agreeable spectrum" - how much a person tends to agree with others instead of telling their own truth (which usually leads to confrontation). Those who tend to agree a lot, out of fear of conflict and out of desire to be loved, will end up building internal resentment instead of being able to deal with their own emotions.
Learning: we need to therefore learn to be mindful about one another while also remembering that every trigger is our own insecurity being reflected in the world.
At the beginning of this year, I gave a presentation with my Co-Liv partner in crime Cate Maiolini at RE:Connect, a big real estate conference (but not the biggest of 2021 - wait for the Co-Liv Summit!).
Since I became director of Co-Liv, the global association of coliving professionals, we've continuously grown with 105 events hosted, 45 podcast episodes, 20+ partners, almost 300 members, 37 ambassadors in 28 countries and 12 people in our executive team!
The highlight: we went from 1,500 people in our newsletter to 4,800 in one year - that's probably around half of the coliving industry that we reach with each email 🙌
Have a look at our presentation to find out about our key wins, how to get involved, what initiatives can serve you and our upcoming projects:
It's been an honour to build up this organization alongside 50 individuals and organizations that contributed with their time and energy - thank you all 💙
A book showcasing how cities can evolve and why they should. Highly recommend to read through it - especially, this image stood out to me:
My 2021 started with a lot of intensity and confrontation with reality.
I'd love to share two commitments that I made to myself while experiencing life in the Mexican desert, being confronted with dust, human emotions and life in its most naked form:
Which reminds me of a quote that one of my coachsulting clients shared with me a few weeks back:
"Only optimize what you don't like. Don't optimize what you like doing - it takes the whole fun away."
And with that, much love from the West of Mexico (Baja California), where I escaped end of 2020 and joined a little coliving experience.
Wishing you all an incredible start of the year,
PS: If you have any thoughts on what you just read, please share them with me. And if someone forwarded you this email, you can subscribe to my newsletter here.
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